Candy Babies and Sexy Lesbians
by Roxius
Summary: Tyki sees Rhode and Lulubell having sex and he reveals he's actually a bit SPECIAL. A crackfic with yuri and some yaoi at the end. Tyki X Skin Bolic, Rhode X Lulubell.


A/N: Lulubell was recently revealed in the D. Gray-Man anime. She's one of the Noah.

* * *

_Inside the Ark..._

Tyki was walking through one of the Ark's many hallways when he heard something...or someone...moan from behind a nearby door. Since the Millenium Earl and the other Noah were the only living beings of the Ark, Tyki knew it must be one of them behind the door.

He knocked on the door several times and called, "Whoever's in there, I'm coming in..." Tyki summoned one of his Tease and had it devour the door in seconds. What he saw inside the room caused all the color to drain from his face.

"RHODE-CHAN AND...AND LULUBELL-SAMA? WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TWO DOING?"

Lulubell, who was lying naked on top of Rhode, grinned sheepishly and exclaimed, "Uh...hi, Tyki! What's up?"

"You two...are lesbians? I-I can't believe it..." Tyki whispered in a shocked tone, mostly to himself, "By the way, WHAT are you doing again?"

Rhode pulled a saliva-covered lollipop out of her mouth and shouted, "CAN'T YOU SEE WE'RE FUCKIN', BITCH? GET THE HELL OUT!"

Tyki didn't need to be told twice as he turned around and ran down the hall screaming like an idiot...

* * *

"Millenium Earl-sama!" 

Millenium Earl looked up from his 'How-To-Rape-Allen' blueprints and saw Tyki standing in the door, completely out of breath and covered in sweat.

"What do you need, Tyki?" sneered the Earl. He always hated to have his evil plannings interrupted, but Tyki had important things to tell him. Tyki grabbed the Earl by the shoulders and screamed, "I SAW RHODE AND LULUBELL HAVING LESBIAN INTERCOURSE, MAN! LESBIAN INTERCOURSE!...Also known as sex!"

Earl pushed the paranoid Noah away and replied, "Don't touch me. Also, I already know they're lesbians. They've been dating for two months already. I'm all for it, myself..."

Tyki almost lost all the feeling in his body. He slowly inched back, giving the Earl a insane glare full of disgust and confusion. "WHAT? WHY ARE YOU SO ACCEPTING OF THEIR...THEIR...THEIR SINFUL BEHAVIOR?"

Millenium Earl just shook his head in disappoint. "In case you forgot, we're trying to destroy the Earth and eradicate all life, okay? We're not exactly saints..." Tyki suddenly realized that the fat elf-like man was right for once.

"So...you're saying I should be supportive of their gay relationship and see if I can join in so we'll have a threesome?" The Earl just shrugged and muttered, "Whatever floats your boat, ya pervert..."

Tyki made a 'V' symbol in the air and ran down the hallway, exclaiming, "I WILL BE THE ULTIMATE SEX GOD...!!!"

Suddenly, when he was almost to the girls' room, he noticed Skin Bolic sitting in the middle of the floor, crying his eyes out. "What's wrong, buddy?" Tyki asked, obviously worried about his poor friend's odd behavior.

Skin Bolic looked up at Tyki and whined, "M-My candy babies...someone stole my c-candy babies..." Tyki didn't know what the hell a 'candy baby' was, but he sure as hell didn't want to find out.

"Maybe...I can help you find them..." Tyki suggested, hoping that Skin Bolic will decline the offer. Without even bothering to answer, Skin Bolic grabbed Tyki by the arm and dragged him down the hall...

* * *

"Oh god, kiss me, Lulu-chan..." Rhode moaned. Lulubell passionately kissed Rhode on the lips and slipped her hand down the smaller girl's panties. When their lips seperated, a long trail of saliva connected their tongues. 

Rhode smiled and said, "This is WAY better than doing it with any stupid boy..." Lulubell smirked and replied, "You're so cute, Rhode-chan, but I'm not finished with you yet..."

At the thought of what was gonna happen next, Rhode couldn't help but pul Lulubell in for another powerful kiss.

* * *

After being dragged across the floor by the muscular candy-loving Noah for five hours, Tyki finally found himself at the scene of the crime: Skin Bolic's room.

"It sure is a dump in here..." Tyki muttered as he kicked what looked like a dead corpse out of the way. The entire room was full of various junk and a strange sugary substance.

Tyki turned to Skin Bolic, who was weeping, and asked, "This is where you last saw your 'candy babies', correct?"

Skin Bolic wiped his tears and muttered, "Actually, I only brought you here so we could have sex..."

"...I feel like I'm on Family Guy sometimes..."

"Don't I know the feeling! Giggity giggity goo!"


End file.
